Friday, March 5, 2010

KeHiLaNgaN....

dulu...ak slalu xphm...nape org tulis blog..nape blog ni dcipta...ape signifficant blog ni dlm khdpn..and y pple terlalu obsessed dgn blog ni...tp arini...br ak tau...sbnrnye simple je jwpn kpd sume soklan2 ak tuh...
blog ni sgtlah berguna coz die mcm diary cumenye kte xpyh ssh2 nk bwk die..pastu bleh share dgn sape2 pon n yg bestnye blog ni dr diary ialah die bleh bg feedback kat kte(i mean komen dr kengkawan kte la kan)...tp itu bkn la topik utama ak arini..hehe..melencong je..

topik ak ialah kehilangan...our biggest fear of all...mmg aku tau x satu pon akn kekal kat dlm dunia ni coz sume ni kepunyaan DIA..wlupun ak pnah merase kehilangan yg besar dlm hidup ak dulu waktu ayahanda tercinta ak pergi menyambut seruan ilahi..but still...this 'fear of losing someone' still become my biggest nightmare...ak takut khlgn insan2 yg tersyg..kaklong,abg,kenit,semut(adik2ku),kiki,aiza,ika,ijat,mami,yuyu..esp. mak ak...mereka ni sume adelah colors of my life...without them im nothin...but then kte ni sume manusia..n manusia owez take pple for granted..and im now one of them...

aku mengaku dgn rasminye kat sini..ak da wat slh ngan one of my besties(one of them yg ak da listed above)...regardless la..die bc blog ni ke x..die tau ke x yg bahawasanya dan sesungguhnye...aku rs sedih sgt2 sbb da skitkan ati die..ak x bermaksud lgsg...maybe ak ni jnis terlampau pikikan sst perkare..tp i feel totally sad..smpikan kalo bleh ak nak je jerit....'ak mintak maaf!!!!!!!! wei,seyes...yang teramat sgt...'(sedihnye...ya Allah,KAU sj yg maha mengetahui)...apepon ak hrp sgt ak x kehilangan die and wish things could be normal just the way it is..die slalu stands besides me whenever i hv problem..i need someone to talk to right from d very beggining when i just get to know die...die once pnah ckp kat aku..'kte ni bknnye rmai..like a family..kalo kte x jaga sesame kte..sape lg nak tgk2kan kte...'ak terpegun dgn care die piki n i respect gle kat die...tp...sory..ak xdpt jd kawan yg bek pd ko...ak xdpt phm ape yg ade dlm jiwa ko..ak xdpt bg blik ape yg ko da bg kat aku...sory sgt2...kalo ko rs rimas..tp ak rs ssh ati sgt2 ble ko jauhkan diri dr ak n mrh kat ak...tolonglah maafkan ak..ak manusia biasa...yg slalu wat kesilapan dlm hidup ak..ak xpndi nak neutral kan keadaan...ak hnye pndi blakon like nothin happen between us...

di kala ni...ak hanye mampu doa..."ya Allah,ya rahman,ya rahim...ak mintak dariMu..lembutkanlah dan bukakanlah pintu ati die utk maafkan ak...die adalah antara kwn yg ak snggup ganti dgn nyawa ak ni termasuklah mereka yg ak senaraikan di atas...dan jika ya Allah,ak tiada jodoh lg dgn mereka ini ya Allah...peliharalah mereka dan berilah yg terbaik utk mereka...sesungguhnya KAU lah yang maha mengetahui...amiin.."

sory guys...i think i need to stop here as i get too emotional rite now..nnt ntuh pape lg ak merepek..see u guys la8r...need to wipe away my tears alone...huhu~

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